Decision Made

     Okay, the decision on my living arrangement has been made. I will not e living at my dad's. The final choice has been made today. Erika is back from school and is driving me insane. Beyond insane. She just never stops pushing for stupid, immature things. She's going to be here all summer and I cannot handle her. It's bad when I'd rather live with my mom and have no money than live with my dad and put up with her very day. Just stop being so annoying and grow up! I can assure you that at no age was I ever like you.. And now you're almost 20

Favorite Memory

    I asked Rob what his favorite memory of me was so far. He replied that our first kiss was his favorite. So now that he has reminded me of that memory it's stuck in my head. It gives me the same butterflies now that I felt then.
    I just want to kiss him all the time.
     I couldn't sleep last night. I'm not sure why. It wasn't even that my mind was going a hundred miles per hour. I was actually quite relaxed. I may have gotten 4 hours of sleep altogether.
     Yesterday was Mother's Day . It made me want to become a mom. Blah.
     Good news is I spent half my day alone with hunter. We made homemade brownies together for his mom and then me and him went to the park!

What's For Breakfast?

    Instead of eating breakfast... I've been laying on my bed for an hour trying to think of what I actually want for breakfast. At my dad's house, everyone here usually is not even awake for breakfast.. So there really are not any breakfast foods. I could eat... Spaghetti? For breakfast? I suppose. There's these breakfast pouch things in the cupboard that you can toss in milk...
    What I'm really getting at is that I need a car. Hardcore. Now that I have my license, sitting at home isn't so fun. Especially since I know if I had a vehicle... I could totally go drive to the store and get the cereal I want. I could go to the gym whenever. I could go work my 2nd flower job whenever. I may go insane.
     Yesterday Carlos and Casey came over to my dads house for supper! And board games. Erika was quite excited because she's been wanting to meet Casey... And actually hang out with Carlos. It was so much fun!
    Now my dilemma is that my dad had asked me to go to state college today... which I totally forgot About.. And already made other plans to go to my first adult store. It's easier to say no to my dad than Carlos and Casey.... But saying no to anyone to me is hard. I'm a yes ill make you happy person.
    Anyway, I'm super hungry and want food. Have a good day.  :)

So Wrapped Up!

    Wow. Life has been hectic. It seems whenever I'm happy I forget to actually post a blog! So, now I'm going to give you an update. Today and tomorrow I'm officially moving my stuff... All of it.. Out of the house I shared with Shawn. More than half is going to my moms new house.. Because she has more space. Some will be going to my dads where I am currently staying . At first I was unsure if I wanted to stay at my dad's . It, at first, felt uncomfortable. I realized that's just because I'm used to having my own place. It's actually fun. My aunt is a completely different person now than she used to be. The reasoning is because she finally fell in love. Now she's a super happy person. Living with my mom would put me closer to work.. That's the only plus side. As I've said before, my mom drains me of money... And there's rarely any food in the fridge... There would've been if she hasn't taken all of my money... She also wants me to be in charge of sending in the rent. Which is a brilliant idea. She never pays rent, aka why we always move. I'm not sure whether I should trust her this time around. She's just screwed me too many times. My dad always has food in the fridge! He buys stuff just for me to make. My mom is also always home... So she'd always be in my company.. I've become so used to having my alone time.
So many decisions to make!

Silly Me

     Honestly, I stress way too much. I worry about everything and everyone. It doesn't affect anything I do but it's always subconciously on my mind. I am slowly going insane. People at work are occasionally such grump faces and don't want to work. After all these years, I still haven't figured out why it's so hard to work a little tiny bit while you're at work  .. . Crazy people.
      I am really enjoying living at my dads    except I miss my kitty faces. I think I've finally pulled myself far enough away from shawn so I know longer care... at all. Which sounds bad but it's incredibly great for me. I feel so free from him... and it feels great .
     I also love how awesome it feels to have my driver's license.. now I just need a car. Then I will finally be super independent! Which is what I've always wanted.. I hate having to rely on anyone.

I'm sleepy.

So Very Uncertain

    There's so much uncertainty in my life. I just need one certain thing.. One thing that will always be there that'll help me keep my sanity. Because I am going insane and I just need something to go how I want it to! One.. little..big... thing. I need you. Why is this so hard? I jnow the best things in life aren't easy . I get that.... I just need a little break

Poke, Poke, Poke!

    Today was nice! I'm starting to feel some wear on not sleeping. I will more than likely be sleeping in until 10. or 9. or 8. Either way! Then my mom wants to hang out with me... though I was tempted to say no...but she must miss me if she actually asked to hang out. Jon also wants to have lunch with me? Then I asked my mon if I could borrow her car and meet Rob for coffee in lock haven. She seemed hesistant.. mostly because it'd be at night time and I haven't drove a car alone yet..  so she's worried I'll die. I have no doubts that I can convince her.    :) I may even use the excuse  that I want to pick up more flower hours at Kmart and need a car to drive since she's going to bingo tomorrow night.    
     I'm at my dad's house again and Wendy is cooking me and her boyfriend some fancy quesadillas. I'm not used to eating sinner this late... so I'm supwr tired and my sugar is low... I'm enjoying this family time though.