Today and Why Every Day is Important

     I could never take away my own life. Obviously when things are bad it crosses your mind that maybe it would be easier to die sooner. This is really not the case. It just shows your selfishness. You think you can take your life just because things get tough and it's not going to effect anyone but yourself? That it's only going to make your life, which would no longer be your life, easier? What about all the people who love you that you're leaving behind? No matter who you are, or how you act, I can assure you there is at least one person out there who loves you insanely and would die for you. Someone who understands you at least a little bit and losing you would devastate their life. There are people out there who have died.. for reasons beyond their control.. who had a worse life than you.. that I'm sure would come back in a heart beat. Don't take advantage of your life. Every day is a new day to make something good happen. Some times it's hard to realize it.. but you have control over your life  You have all that you need to make things better for yourself.Yes, it's hard. Whoever said life is easy? I had a best friend commit suicide. I love her but she left me with a feeling of.. Really? Why didn't you tell me how much you were hurting? Why wouldn't you share your burden with me? I really could've helped. That was the first time someone close to me had died. Exactly a year later.. my uncle, who was almost like a dad to me.. died from cancer. A few years later my sister, Jen, died from cancer. It just keeps making me realize how special life is and how easily it can be taken away. Then Cynthia's dad passed away. It was harder on me to see her go through that pain than it was for me to go through my own pain of the deaths in my life. It's bad enough this way. It's a million times worse when the decision for death was actually made.
     This morbid topic was on my mind because I just found out my cousin, Emily, has cancer in her kidnies. This girl is only 3 years younger than me.. but I've always felt.. like she was more my daughter  than anything. Not even so much a sister. I've just always been the motherly figure in her life. I love her. I'm quite distraught with this news.. but if anyone can survive it.. it's dedinitely her.