I'm trying to keep my life up. It wasn't too hard but now my days are lacking Rob time. Which was what kept me out of my funk called life. Now I don't have his voice every day to cheer me up and assure me that everything is goig to be okay. I can only assure myself so much until I stop believing it.
I used to believe for a long time that my mom only hung out with me because she wanted my money. Every time, she's be like.. Leanne, let's hang out! then at the end.. Leanne can I borrow money? Borrowing usually means at some point she'd pay me back....Yeah...
In the past year, she seemed to have calmed down from this.. until 2 weeks ago when she started this again. She borrowed 300.. that I really couldn't afford to let her have.. and I don't see it ever getting back to me. This stresses me out insanely. I just want to move away from her so we can not have this kind of relationship. We have a long line of her fucking me over money wise. Oh, that 1000 dollars I told you I'd put in your bank account for college that way you wouldn't have to worry about traveling that far to get it in?
Fucked over.
I love my mom. She pisses me off. A lot. If money was never involved in our relationship we'd be fine....
Then there's the whole I can't talk to Rob on the phone and I've spent the past almost 2 months talking to him for at least two hours a day then going to absolutely nothing? it's murderous.
Then I want him every day and can't have him yet...
I have so much love in me to give to him and it:s building up.
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